A day or two ago I got an email from Amazon reminding me 1) that Valentines’ Day is almost here, and 2) suggesting I “celebrate the holiday with the gift of a great book” from their Valentine’s Day store.

Oh Amazon, you’re usually so right-on with your book recommendations that pique my interest and lure me in for a closer look. But… celebrate? Valentine’s Day? It’s as if you don’t know me at all.

The recommendations are as follows: The Husband List, by Janet Evanovich. Is this about “the list” most singles are purported to have tucked away detailing their perfect match? Or is it about someone who’s been married multiple times? Pass.

The 4-Hour Chef by Timothy Ferriss. Uhm…me plus cooking…not so much. Especially not 4 hours of it.

Another Insane Devotion: On the Love of Cats and Persons by Peter Trachtenberg. Cats? Really?

So here’s a recommendation of my own. A Kingdom Called Desire, by Rick McKinley. That, and a really big box of chocolates.