When out and busy, I wish I were at home doing nothing, and when I’m home I’m bored and wish I had a reason to go out and do something.
Tired of saying “No” when friends invite me out to do things because I can’t afford it, and tired of saying “Yes” when they offer to pay (though I’m incredibly grateful).
Feeling old, unwanted, and more out-of-touch every day I’m not employed, yet trusting that God can provide something awesome and uniquely suited to my abilities.
Resenting that God often chooses silence at difficult times when we feel we need Him the most, and by sheer willpower believing He’s still there – somewhere – orchestrating things together for good.
Willing to accept character refining during this difficult time, and wondering how exactly that will happen in the silence…
Embarrassed to be my age and struggling with faith this way, and thinking maybe others are too but we’re just not good at safely allowing people to talk about their spiritual struggles.
Continuing to infrequently blog, though I’m not sure how transparent I can/should be about my real feelings and struggles, and stop blogging for a season because no one – especially me – really wants me to be that honest.
What about you? Anything you’re going back and forth about?