Her Views · On Being Christian

Psalm 40 [TJV]

TJV = The Jan Version:

I’ve waited for God so often in my life;
he hears me. He notices.
He’s rescued me from some pretty crappy situations,
Messy, lonely, no-light-at-the-end-of-the-tunnel places;
and put me on solid footing.

I have a life so rich I never thought it was possible,
and it’s only because of him.
Incredibly, my story has encouraged others,
and reminds them of God’s faithfulness.

God, really, you’ve done so many amazing things.
So many “coincidental” things that fit together perfectly.
When I think back over my life,
I see you working everywhere.

And you know what? I think I’m finally starting to get it.
It’s not about anything I’ve done, how I served or how much I gave.
Turns out it’s just like the Bible says:
God is pleased when our only goal is to become the person He wants.

God, I’ve been telling everyone about your interaction in my story.
I’ve told about both the successes, and my failures.
I’m not trying to do it by myself – alone, in secret;
I talk about your faithfulness and provision.
I tell everyone in the blogosphere and twitterverse
of your love and faithfulness to me.

So don’t hold back now.
Now, when I’m really counting on your unfailing love and faithfulness and protection.
Because I’m afraid, drowning in “what if’s?”—
and I can’t see a way out.
I’m sorry God, I’ve lost all courage.

Please, Lord, rescue me…
As soon as possible, please help me.
And if there are those who think “she must have done something to deserve it,”
or, “thank God I’m not in her position,”
Well, let them see what happens when you’re in charge.
In fact, let them be stunned by what you do in my life.

And for others who are desperately searching for you
Oh God please provide for all their needs and most of their wants.
Fill them with your hope and joy and faith and gratitude
until all they can say is, “ohmygosh God is so awesome!”

As for me, since I am poor and needy,
God, just let me know you haven’t forgotten me.
I do trust you to save me.
But dear God, would you please hurry?

4 thoughts on “Psalm 40 [TJV]

  1. Jan, not sure how I ended up on your blog-but figured it was a “God-thing” and I’m glad to make your acquaintance. This is going to turn out to be a very long comment. If you made it to the end, thank you.
    I am in similar “circumstances” being currently unemployed and a lot of your experiences mirror mine exactly. I haven’t blogged about it publicly like you but I admire your honesty and your walk with God.
    In obedience to the prompting of the Lord, I quit a very well-paying, exciting, and corporately prestigous job 4 months ago and relocated back to my home state of Texas as a step of obedience. God had come through ALL MY WORKING CAREER with new positions manifesting quickly and promotions coming to me unsolicited. I figured this time would be no different. I REALLY thought I’d have a new job in a month after returning.
    It’s been almost 4 months-the job hasn’t manifested YET. But during this period I have had the opportunity to dig deeper into my relationship with Him and understand what it means to “walk by faith” in the most profound way of my life.

    I think being unemployed for awhile is like going through the stages of “death” that we hear about. Being employed makes you feel like a contributor, not to mention provides for that little thing called MONEY that most people want from you for rent, utilities, you know—piddly stuff like that. Being unemployed has the potential to rip into your self-worth and dignity. But I know God and I have a history with Him so I know that He is doing something weighty in me-even if I can’t see it all now. I see a lot of it.

    I went through phases: 1) PLEASURE enjoying all this time off with no schedule, sleeping in late, and going to the gym whenever I wanted WOO HOO!
    2) POSSIBILITY: Casually look on internet in the industries of my “field” and applying for work, confident that I would get a job really soon
    3) IMPENDING DREAD: Knowing that the “nest egg” was dwindling, but still had money in the bank, stepping up the job application process, still holding out for the “ideal” job.
    4) FEAR/PANIC: Getting closer to when the money runs out, OK God, the job has to come through now-right? Having to dig into the Word and press in. Friends helping with encouragement, but this is my valley to walk through.
    5) RESIGNATION: Passed the point of no money, still waiting for a job, still applying, still doing my part, Broadening the field of what I will accept as a job. Try to convince recruiters in snappy cover letters that I’m not “overqualified” for the position. Still no job.
    6) ACCEPTANCE: Praying, waiting, trusting, really taking God at His Word that He does supply my needs according to His riches in Christ Jesus. Walking through the fear-saying no to fear, anxiety, panic. Taking God at His Word. Digging, digging, digging into Him.
    7) APPLYING THE PRESSURE OF PATIENCE: God told me to pray for my next “position and provision” back in Oct. I am not “flinging away my fearless confidence in Him”.
    As of today no job has manifested, BUT I have His Word that I have the next “provision and position”. And I have been standing on that promise as sure as I sit on my couch.
    OH-like you–I’ve learned a FEW things….what has all this taught me?
    Like you, I learned “One day at a time, He provides. Matthew 6, Psalm 139, Philippians 4—, Proverbs 3: 5-6 have been my mainstays. My Rock.
    When I first started looking for work, I didn’t want to do anything I considered “menial: housework, janitorial, store clerk, etc. Now I am doing some housecleaning for a friend and I love it because I don’t take it for granted. I look at people who serve behind the McDonald’s counter, the clerk at Kohl’s dept. store, the gas station attendant with new respect. I admire anyone who can make a living on $10/hour-which next to parting the Red Sea seems like an impossibility in this day and age. I told God I was willing to do ANYTHING (legal of course!) That was a huge step when I humbled myself and admitted that I didn’t want to do ANYTHING, because I was freaked that God would actually want me to apply for a janitorial position! Once I got past all that, I was free.
    I have learned to be thrifty-not stingy. I have learned to thank God for my “daily” bread (which might not be the “Orange County” version, but I have been able to stay with a good friend “rent free” and I’ve always had 3 meals a day plus treats. No minor thing considering what my bank balance shows). And pay all my bills.
    I have learned to look beyond myself and meet others’ needs.
    My heart is for those who are unemployed and don’t know what we know. HOW DO THEY DO IT? They need to know Jesus and all He offers. That’s my prayer. I have new compassion for the unemployed, the homeless, the disenfranchised.
    I know my situation is temporary. And that all of this is to His glory. And I’m not being religious about it—I really mean it. God bless, and thank you for sharing your story.


    1. It definitely is a God-thing that you stopped by. Thank you so much for taking the time to share your story. It’s really a great example of living and walking by faith, and it’s not for the faint of heart! I have 5 friends who were not employed. (That’s not counting me, but I try to sometimes pray for other people than me. HA) So five others without jobs. In the last 3 months, 2 of them have found work. So I celebrate with them, and am encouraged that God is answering prayer! I know he has something for you and me, too. And in the meantime, we try to learn the lessons and become the person he wants us to be. Thanks again for sharing.


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