Friday Lite · Her Views

2010 resolutions

Everyone’s talking about making new year’s resolutions. In fact, here is a list of the most common resolutions. In case you were having trouble thinking of any. (If that’s the case, maybe you should consider #8.)

I’m going to tell you how to keep them. First, keep your list short. Three at the max. This way, even if you only keep one resolution your percentage is 30%. Keeping one resolution from a list of 10 – 15 is almost meaningless. I call this “doing the math.”

Second, (and this is contrary to what others will tell you) don’t be too specific. For example, don’t resolve to “go to the gym three times a week.” Say that you will “exercise more.” This way, you can count walking from the couch to the kitchen for a diet coke, or rolling the shopping cart over to its little stall as exercise. (Note: if you keep two of your three resolutions, you have bragging rights to a 60% fulfillment rate. Which is really high.)

Third, …oh what the heck. If you kept all of your resolutions no one would speak to you anymore. As Mark Twain said, “Now’s the time to make your annual New Year’s resolutions. Next week you can begin paving hell with them as usual.”