Well, this is it. The last weekend before Christmas. Time to finish your shopping mall strategy to find those final, perfect gifts. To be on the safe side, here’s a quick review of some not-so-perfect gifts. I enjoyed The Lingerie Trap (a little glimpse of the train of thought that provokes in a woman’s mind… “Way too expensive on sooooo many levels.”) Or “The joke’s on you: Before you spend $20 on a whoopee cushion or another joke item, think about flushing that $20 down the toilet. Is that funny? I didn’t think so.”

I came across this awhile back. The “Hello Kitty” design definitely tips this gift towards a woman, but clearly it would work equally as well for men. I don’t know, does a breathalyzer send the wrong message?

The Japanese have a whole cultural category called “Chindogu” – meaning, “useless inventions.” These things are hilarious, and I’m not sure they’re entirely useless. I mean, letting a crawling baby mop your floor seems like a pretty good use of a baby to me.

I do recall one year my brother-in-law bought my sister a vacuum cleaner for Christmas. I’m still not sure if she really liked it…but she did seem excessively pleased to tell everyone, “My husband gave me a Christmas present that really sucks!”