Her Views · On Being Christian

looking for the unseen

I made my house payment today. Normally, this would be unremarkable, except that it happens to be due tomorrow, and as of Saturday I did not have enough money in hand to pay it. I have a department store paycheck coming this week. And a freelance check. And I requested some money from a CD that hadn’t arrived. My sister and a friend offered to float me some money. I really wasn’t sure what to do – I do believe God can provide money from nowhere, though I couldn’t imagine how. I wanted to trust him, but still make all the necessary preparations.

But wait… first I have to tell you why this whole “trusting God” thing – which by the way, runs counter to my personality and history – has become such a marvel. One: the job in men’s shoes I originally disdained, that turned out to be one of the few seasonal temp jobs that paid commission.

Two: Discovering on my first day that I was only scheduled for one day per week, I was incredibly disappointed. I felt like I’d done everything I could to be responsible, and still failed. But for once (I’m rather ashamed to admit) I didn’t accuse God. I acknowledged that he was aware of the schedule. There wasn’t anything else to do but accept it. And the next day the manager called, explaining that someone had resigned because he didn’t have enough hours, and asked if I could take his entire shift. I worked about 30 hours last week. God was indeed aware of the schedule.

Which brings us to Three: On Saturday I received a Christmas card from a friend that included a very generous check. Out of nowhere.

Are you seeing this? Because I have to say that in all my years of living safely and managing my life, I really hadn’t. I saw it happen for others, but had not really experienced it myself. It’s wild! And one of the key things I’m learning is that in His Kingdom Among Us, things are not as they appear to our human eye. An “unattractive” position in men’s shoes. A one-day-a-week schedule. A gap between checkbook and payment due. I guess that’s faith… to look beyond the visible – waiting with expectancy for the answer that may yet remain unseen.

5 thoughts on “looking for the unseen

  1. After a year of four part time jobs to just keep nostril deep in sea-water, a door finally opened where the income matches my out-go. Reading your daily walk intensifies my prayers for you. And, like Martin, in the comment above, I also have a bit of a smirk because God did some remarkable stuff during my year of extreme poverty. I KNOW…that He IS doing the same in your heart.

    You are one of the most amazing people I have met, on many levels. I’m pulling for you every day.


  2. Jan,

    It’s funny how all-to-often we forget that we are suppose to walk by faith & not by sight. Most often it isn’t because we don’t see it. Because we live in the “Land-o-plenty” we don’t find ourselves in a place of need. But because we have a Providing God, who knows what we have need of even before we ask, we walk in surplus, but the day comes when we are in need & He shows up and shows off! I too have been the recipient of “Money from nowhere!” God is more than able!

    I do feel that we as His children, are coming into a time where we ought to be free to rest in His provision. Sadly enough, it means we become less secure in our own ability. Sad because we are in a “Spiritual” Place of transition, where our phsyical strengths have no benefits! Oh how we learn to trust God here! It’s a beautiful place!!! Don’t ever feel like going back is an option, infact move forward! God describes our life as transitioning from “Glory to Glory!” Which means we leave one place of understanding & except another level of understanding!!!

    God bless you for sharing this story & taking us thru the transition with you! May the Lord continue to open doors and bring forth the most fruitful season in your life ever!!! And yes now while everything looks the bleekest! Remember what you said “things are not as they appear to our human eye.” It’s true!!! Don’t walk away from it, but rather, walk to it!!! You never be sad you did!!!


  3. I give thanks to God for everything that He is doing in your life. I also thank him for the testimony that you are proclaiming to others out there who are experiencing similar circumstances. I know exactly what you mean about “seeing it happen for others” and not experiencing it for yourself. Praise God!


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