It really is an age-old question, one I suspect men ask each other to explain the mysteries of the opposite sex: Why do women go to the bathroom in groups?

There are a lot of theories, from battling over the cutest guy, (oh please) to comparing notes about their dates, (can you say paranoid?) to the bathroom being a kind of clubhouse, (getting closer) to stirring up a witches’ brew in a cauldron to cast a spell, (yeah, I’ll just whip that cauldron right out of my beaded clutch.)

So gentlemen, I will tell you why we go to the bathroom together. (Don’t worry ladies, they won’t believe us anyway.) First of all, we’re just relationship-oriented. We like being together. When men spend time together things inevitably turn into a competition. “Excuse me, I’m going to the ladies’ room” is a veiled invitation to take a break from the complexities of the male/female interactions. It doesn’t matter if the ladies know each other well or not. “Oh, I’ll go with you!” says yes, I could definitely use a few minutes with someone who speaks my language.

The bathroom is a sort of sanctuary. (This is the part men just won’t understand.) A reasonably nice restroom is cool and quiet. A restful reprieve from dancing, loud conversation or the house band. We may do a status check on our respective dates, but otherwise, we check clothing, fluff hair, touch-up lipstick, compliment each other’s earrings. These actions restore a sense of peace, and recharge us to continue being a charming, interesting, warm, funny and attentive date. Which usually comes in handy when we return to the competition which, in our absence, has developed over the check.