Culture · Relationships

it does not matter

R&B singer Chris Brown was charged with two felonies today at his arraignment after punching, strangling, and threatening his girlfriend, pop singer Rihanna. This made me think of the importance of reminding women about the danger of accepting abuse at the hands of a boyfriend. The following is a previously published blog post.

I suspect we have all known someone with a friend in a relationship with a “difficult” man. You know the type: he has anger issues, drinking issues, money issues, integrity issues, and none of it is his fault. But she can’t bring herself to leave him, because for some reason she clings to the idea that that they love each other. It does not matter that he loves you is a straightforward, truth-telling post by Pretty Lady for women in such a situation.

“It does not matter that he loves you. He is fine, I say, with hurting you. Seeing your tears is an eminently endurable exercise for him. It hurts you more than it hurts him. You are committed to his healing; he is committed to your pain. He regards your misery as a necessary, if regrettable, price to pay for living. It does not matter that he loves you.

Possibly he cares that he is hurting you; he does not care enough. He has no motivation to change. It does not matter that he loves you.

Do you understand what I am saying?”

If you have a friend, sister, or daughter who has suffered in this kind of relationship – or if you are currently IN this type of relationship – read the whole thing.

Also, visit Run Girl Run, a blog dedicated to helping women avoid toxic men.